Things I Wish I Had Known

Things I Wish I Had Known in My 30’s

My 30’s were an especially challenging time.  I was still trying to get used to living in the foreign country, hubby had to travel a lot for his job which meant a great deal of single parenting, the boys were getting bigger and involved in a lot more extracurricular activity and to top it all I went back to University to gain a degree in Health Care Administration. Yeah - what was I thinking?

Here are my thoughts on my 30’s:

  • It’s important to put yourself in the family photo even if you are carrying a few extra pounds, your family wants you in their legacy despite the fact you are self-conscious
  • As your kids get bigger and are involved in more activities NO is a complete sentence when someone wants you to be involved in something else
  • As your kids get bigger and are involved in more activates and your husband is out of town on his thousandth business trip its ok to ask for help with rides, dinner, the odd glass of wine with a friend.
  • When you are crazy busy frozen pizza is a perfectly acceptable dinner, your kids will not be damaged and in fact they were not!
  • Give yourself a break, you are working full time and raising 2 amazing children, do not beat yourself up for not doing it all, treat yourself with compassion
  • You looked pretty good despite the fact you thought you looked like an old hag!
  • You don’t have to be your child’s best friend you will not damage them for life if you exert discipline in the strongest non-violent way
  • Do not care about what people think about as much, maybe you are not quite as beautiful/skinny/articulate/bright enough.  Who the heck cares!
  • Do not worry that your kids are not getting all the nutrition they need and beat yourself up if you are not cooking that 3-course meal from scratch every day.  French Fries and chicken bites or hot dogs are fine some of the time. Ketchup and bacon are a food group!
  • Do not feel guilty that your family is not near their extended family to spend time with grandparents and aunts and uncles, you make your own family right where you are even though they may not be blood

I remember parenting in my 30’s as such a pivotal time to develop two young boys into two amazing young men.  I considered it my prime responsibility and exhausted myself, unjustifiably when I felt I had failed (many times).

I recently talked to my boys about that time when life was chaotic, I was often irritable because life was a little overwhelming and they lived on processed food way more than I would have wanted them to and the tv was often the babysitter. Their reply, hey mom that was fun, don’t really know what you are talking about the tough times, did not happen as far as we as concerned we just loved our life and had tons of cool friends and stuff to do. 

Lessons learned:

  • My boys are awesome (already known fact).
  • And don’t have a weary state of mind for what you perceive you did not do.  Love is all that matters.